The art of not having to be right
Many leaders have made a career out of not being right. Be that Christopher Columbus (who thought he was leaving for India for in 1492) or a myriad of current world leaders as they fumble to confront today’s complex issues.
Many of the executives I work with are full of angst about having to have the right answer. For many of them, be they professionally trained or otherwise, being right is part of who they are, what they expect of themselves and what others expect of them.
Whilst this is important, often it means that self-doubt can lead to a lack confidence and less of a desire to try something new. As a consequence, personal development opportunities for the individual and their colleagues, and growth for an organisation can be limited.
Positive psychology suggests that we should be constantly trying to do different things, push our own boundaries, take risks in a measured way and, as a result, we and those we work with will grow and learn.
How do we do this when we are constrained by ourselves, our role and the expectations around us? In simple terms, take a moment to look back and honestly appraise the great things you have already achieved. Then, try different things but in a measured way.
One of the most rewarding starting points with any new coaching client is to get them to do a review of their past successes. Have them think through the things that have gone well, their achievements, and risks they have taken that have paid off. Hiding these successes from ourselves is a human trait; we are designed to focus on the things that have gone less well. However, we all have a library of successes that many of us actively conceal from ourselves.
Take strength from what you have done in the past and use this to boost your confidence to try new things in the future. You wouldn’t be where you are today without having taken a degree of risk in the past. Why not continue to stretch yourself and take those mini risks moving forward to drive your own personal growth.
++++++++++++++++++
Catch phrase!
Having a small locker of phrases with which to present new ideas can be really useful. Sometimes, I find myself saying things like: “my instinct tells me that …”, “a first review suggests that …”, or “let’s test something new”. On one level these are caveats that enable us to back out of suggestions or ideas that don’t work out. In another way, they are also signals that you are taking a risk and want those around you to take that risk with you. It’s almost as if you are asking to be joined in a lab, and this is a way of receiving permission to test and learn with your tribe.
I’ve used this technique on many occasions and, as I do so, feel that I am de-risking a commitment to an outcome, particularly when that outcome is really hard to achieve or uncertain.
++++++++++++++++++
The next thing to do is to try new, different things. In saying this, I’m not suggesting that you do something massively radical or put all your bets on one outcome. Think of it in terms of taking considered mini-risks, testing new things and slowly stretching yourself over time.
This could be offering to lead a project or follow up on a client lead, things which you might not normally do. It could be that you’ve found out something new in relation to a business opportunity but you are not yet sure whether or not it’s one that’s going to work. Try offering up your opinion, or asking for executive time on your opportunity, but do so with caveat, saying it in a way that means if it doesn’t turn out right it’s not a disaster for your or the business.
The truth is, we can never always be right. Though this might be our goal (which in itself might be limiting), if it is an expectation more realistic ambitions can be constrained. Think it through, take sensible risks, try things in safe environments, test and learn. Over time you’ll be surprised at what you can achieve. Yes, you may fail on occasion, but if you look back you’ll get confidence by observing how far you have come and get a real sense of what you can really achieve moving forward.
Successful difficult conversations
There is little doubt that having a difficult conversation is tough, regardless of whether you are the most experienced leader or a new manager. So how best should you deal with that situation you know needs to be dealt with in an authentic way, but you have been...
Balancing personal and professional success
One of the most common challenges the leaders I work with face is how to balance one’s professional ambitions and having an enjoyable personal life on the way through. We are a long time working and so need to keep ourselves resilient, and mentally and physically fit...
Binding teams together with positive storytelling
A key requirement of every leader is to bind groups together effectively. One of the founding fathers of positive psychology, Dr Martin Seligman devised his Perma model to help us understand the key components of what connects us as humans. His research identified 5...
From individual contributor to rounded leader
It is one of the many ironies of the modern workplace that the better we are at our jobs the more likely we are to be promoted out of them! Too often, as leaders, we come across someone who is fantastic in their role, a brilliant individual contributor, and we feel...
Authentic Leadership
Previously I have discussed the merits of AAA leaders (the As being allyship, autonomy and authenticity). But how are we able to be truly authentic leaders? Thinking about leadership in terms of defiance, compliance and authenticity might help. Lee and Roberts’...
Resilience
Resilience for you and your team A common question I come across with the leaders I work with is “how can I improve the resilience of my colleagues and teams”. The 4 Cs model, developed by Nan Henderson and Mike Milstein gives some great clues on how you can...
The importance of client empathy
Using client empathy to drive your business forward I’m convinced empathy is a super power, particularly when it’s unleashed towards clients. But how can this be done in an effective, enduring way? In his seminal work, Empathetic Marketing, Mark Ingwer breaks down a...
Are you an AAA leader?
Being an AAA leader Three words that come up consistently during my coaching work are: autonomy, allyship and authenticity. As leaders, we all need to master these 3 As, but how do we do this, and how do we encourage those we lead to develop in each of these areas...
Purpose
Reconciling our personal and work purposes Let me sow a little seed and encourage you to think about your personal and professional purposes and to deepen your understanding of how they interrelate. If it is not apparent to you what your purpose is, there are plenty...
Flow
Get into the flow Are there times when you are in the midst of things and feel invincible, when you believe that you can’t do anything wrong, and you want those moments to go on for as long as possible? The chances are that you are achieving what psychologist Mihaly...